Episode 19: Money and Marriage – Debt Free Journey
Murphy and Melissa Stewart from FitnFunds.com Started their financial journey in the Fall 2013. Today they are debt free after paying off $229,000 of debt.
It sounds great, but they were in a toxic marriage and their marriage was falling apart in every which way. Murphy found the Dave Ramsey program and shared this with Melissa and it took a little time for her to get on board.
When trying to get out of debt you are dealing with denial and not being aware of what kind of debt you have. Melissa and Murphy had Medical, IRS, credit card, student loans, car payment, lines of credit.
Murphy was a good sales man and because of his love and persistence they both got on the same page and started to have weekly budget meetings. They also credit God and the ability that they can tithe 10% to their church is what supplied them with the blessings they needed.
They currently host a financial marriage class, and it is perfect because it allows them to share their story, tools and it connects them to all those in attendance.
The biggest change was figuring out their why.
“Don’t let your past supersede your future” – Murphy
Their future plan is to be be millionaires in less than 10 years, have kids (soon), build wealth and help other people change lives.
Check out their show.Expand to read the Full Transcript
Announcer: welcome to the prosperity gap where we discuss the financial gap that exists between where we are and where we should be. It’s time to bridge that gap.
Dave: Welcome to the show. Very excited to have you back with us today.
Today’s show is being brought to you by Prosperity Academy. Plus, if you’re looking to get your finances in order and you’re looking for a one stop shop place to do so, Prosperity Academy Plus has everything you need to get your finances straightened out. So please go to the website and visit them to continue to help sponsor.
Dave: We would also like to ask you to subscribe to our show.
Dave: Very excited to bring you these new shows every week, give you a chance to meet new people that have finances their passion as well as bringing new topics to you. Today is another one of those great days where we’re bringing to you kind of a new topic. We talked briefly about it, but today we’re gonna talk about money and marriage to do that. I brought with me today Melissa and Murphy from Fit on Funds. Melissa Murphy, How are you today?
Melissa and Murphy: Doing wonderful my friend. Thanks so much for having us. We’re excited be on here and share our experience and challenges. But then victories on how we got to where we are today. So thanks so much Dave for having us.
Dave: I’m very excited because although we’ve talked about it individually on the show of times, we’ve never actually had both sides here. And so it’s very exciting for me to actually have the husband, the wife, and to be able to express it from both sides because, unfortunately, things Sometimes when either the husband or the wife telling the story independently, we don’t necessarily always get all the details. Correct. So let’s start today before we get into the money marriage part. Maybe you guys could start, and I don’t know. Murphy. Melissa, take your pick. Who shares your store? You guys got amazing story that really got you to this point in your lives.
Melissa and Murphy: Yeah, I’ll let Murph start out because it kind of started all with Murp about six years ago. A little over six years ago, I think. In the fall of 2013 as when we started our financial journey.
Melissa and Murphy: Yeah. So what happened? I think initially came to a point in our lives and being that you’re a man of the household trying provider and induced opera vision into our family. And I wasn’t doing the job just financially, you know, are I remember it was kind of in the turmoil and, really toxic and we were falling apart in the heart in every which way possible, almost that was so overwhelming. I remember specifically I was in my therapist’s office, actually his lounge to be specific. And I’m sitting there trying to kind of stop and think about how we got into this situation, how I, as a man, didn’t provide what we need to provide for my household. But for somebody you know, just this this inclination of Dave Ramsey, I don’t know if you have heard of Dave Ramsey before this. His name just completely changed my spirit, and I was trying to figure out where it came from and who this man was. I heard from a friend or a family member. What have you, but instantly I should start doing research on my phone. Waiting for my counselor at time in I just saw a breath of fresh air, researching out how he was millions of dollars in debt and then now was out that anyhow, millions and millions upon millions of people get out of debt and that was the inception and the actual start our journey at that time. So So, yeah, that’s how it started. Brought home that Melissa through those skeptical at the time. Yeah, because I was so overly enthusiastic about it. So it was very, very interesting
Dave: And you didn’t have a small amount of debt. If I understand your story correctly
Melissa and Murphy: that’s correct. And I don’t think it when we first started, realized how much debt we were really in because you know, the whole denial and just not really like being aware, being aware what kind of debt we had. But we sat down to figure it out. I mean, it was just like we had medical bills. IRS bills, credit cards, student loans, lines of credit, car payments, like everything that you can think of any kind of like we had it. And so, you know, Murph kept saying like it’s gonna take us five or six years to do this. And I was like, I don’t want to hear it, you know, I was still trying to get on board with the whole thing. But fast forward . Six years later, here we are. We’re your 100% debt free, and just remind you we haven’t said the amount, but it was $229,000 that we had of debt
Dave: I know it was close to 1/4 of 1,000,000. I didn’t know exactly the number. And that’s not counting home mortgage. Consumer debt, Card debt all those other various forms of debt that we have. So, Melissa, what was your whole back was in the fear of giving stuff up And what was the issue for you?
Melissa and Murphy: That’s a good question. So I have always been a spender in the relationship, uh, spend every penny, you know, And so right around the time murph, brought this home, I had just got a new full time job. So my idea was like, Well, I’m gonna go gonna know new wardrobe like it’s a bump up in my salary and, you know, I’m gonna go shopping, and little that I know. It was like, Well, that extra cash that I was earning, was gonna go towards our debt and the majority of the student loan debt was mine like it was like six figures of student loan debt. So I had a good, solid five years of just being super super frugal and learning to just, like, change my ways and learn to save money. It just took a while. It took some time for me to get on board and just yeah.
Dave: And Murph What did it take on your side to make that happen? Obviously you handle the relationship correctly or you would have been here. I mean, obviously, Melissa had to make changes, But had you been a nag and just harassed her every day about this situation, you would have never gotten to this point.
Melissa and Murphy: Very true Dave. I’m so glad you asked that questions. my background in sales, and I jokingly say, I’m a good salesman, for sure, but honestly and in all realness. It’s a lot of patients in my part to understand her needs and to make sure she had a voice in the actual situation when we were in, which was very, very convoluted if you will. But I really had a sit down and give her this sense of why we are doing this because her biggest thing was spending money and everything I know about her main objective was to give. She loves giving to others, a heart to give to people, but in our financial situation we were in we couldn’t do that in a way that she wanted. So I kind of had almost hang it over her head. So I said Babe. If we did this, you can give whatever you want. We were having margins in our financing, and do that. So it was patiently intertwining those different terms and actually having her have a voice but unintentionally putting Dave Ramseys material in front of her and having her list in and read the stuff like that really allowed her to kind of open up more and have a conversation in the initial agreement on our goal in the future. So our why together is what allowed her to finally step on board .
Dave: Melissa were there times that it was confrontational. Where there times you were super angry about this.
Melissa and Murphy: I’m absolutely 100%. You know, in the beginning, it took a while for me to adjust, and I was just like why aren’t we doing this? But, you know, I began to see that the plan was actually working and like when we would pay off one that we would go celebrate and have a nice dinner. And then, you know, that would kind of we work towards that milestone, you know? And so but to kind of go back on the question. It’s exhausting. I mean, there are many days where I was putting in overtime 10-12 hour days, and I was just exhausted. And I come home and just cry And just like, wish that that it was over, we could go take a vacation and just like.. it just sucked. You know, that moment it was just really hard to put it like bluntly, but it was There were many, many hard days. But, you know, Murph would always remind like this is only temporary. Like, just think what our life is gonna be like when we’re done with paying off debt and starting to build wealth and give back and given away that we’ve always dreamed of. So it’s been totally worth the five year
Dave: absolutely well, it sounds like Murphy was your rock to some level and pulling through this Murph, who did you have that was helping you keep going? Then we have got into all the details of marriage. I’d like talk about some of that, but what kept you pushing forward? What, you’re dealing with this on our position.
Melissa and Murphy: So I think us guys are pretty logical for sure. When I see something that I don’t know, I’m visceral learner and love growing and learning as an individual. That’s that’s how you grow without being, You know, that without being stagnate in your life. But I think what came a hold to me was that I grew up in a household that was very finances and money was scarce. And that was, you know, I didn’t want to get to that point. So that was the kind of common thread and more of the common driver of me not going back to that and actually have information that I actually have to allows to become financially free and debt free. You know, I’m one person when I get a hold information that actually has a resolution. I’m all for it. I’m a logical thinker as I said Earlier us men. You know, when we find an answer, something we want to just go for force. I didn’t have a mentor. Anyone who kept me, helping me throughout this journey to keep me pushing and driving. It was just a you know, the thing that I had that I knew and believed and that in it. So I think, you know, someone told me that. So whatever you believe in truly believe in you, then start that starts become your actions in your life and that when I hold on to that belief level the belief system. I knew it was gonna work. There’s nothing stopping me.
Melissa and Murphy: So it’s really cool What happened in your relationship during this time. Did you feel like you were closer farther away? Melissa?
Melissa and Murphy: Yeah, gonna make me emotional. But, you know, when we first started like our marriage was on the rocks like we were really considering, like, you know, splitting ways. I’m just like, you know, ending things. But I think that, you know, when you commit to your finances, especially together, is a couple like not only does it change like your finances, but it really starts to change you as a person. And I think throughout the journey, you know, we both Murphy said, been in counseling and therapy, you know, individually like really working on things but also like together, you know. And so I think that this past several years has just, like, changed so many other areas of our life that it’s really brought a lot of healing and restoration to us, but also to our marriage, too. So it’s just I mean, it’s completely life changing for us.Yes, absolutely.
Dave: Murphy, any additional comments you wanna add to that?
Melissa and Murphy: Yeah, just everything that she was saying it’s, you know, I think it touches is funny cause as I said earlier, when I knew I had my my belief system has changed. I didn’t know it was going to effect so many other areas of our lives, you know, it’s spiritually, emotionally, financially, obviously just all these things it just encompassed something that was real and allows us to get closer, obviously, and allow us to now culminates something that then we can share to others. And that part about it. We had no idea even existed because we were focusing on our debt, but now suddenly we become compound. All this knowledge allows us to now give back, and it’s funny because you wanted to give monetarily speaking. But then but we were not giving in a way that’s way beyond that. So that’s that’s a part that is makes It gives me chills, just thinking about that aspect of it.
Dave: Thank you for sharing that part of your lives. I know it’s very difficult. Many times talk about these personal things, but I also realize how impactful it can be other people because other people are going through the same situation. To me, one of the greatest things about what happened in your life and what I see happening so many others is now. It gives us a common goal to work towards so many times in marriages. It’s so easy. I’ve got six kids, so it’s very easy for my wife and I had to get on completely opposite ends of the spectrum. So we almost need things to bring us back together to get us working together and trying to push our lives forward together, because if not, she’s being a mom, I being a business owner, and it just seems like we never connect.
Melissa and Murphy: That’s true, well said Dave,
Dave: I see a great shirt you’re wearing there “God his Dope”, talking about the relationship gods played in this process for you guys.
Melissa and Murphy: Yeah, it’s this funny because when I was mentioning this story, how everything came about that that’s who sent me that message of Dave Ramsey. I promise. It’s just like, cause the spiritual aspect in which would be with God. God has come up and showed up so many times in this whole journey. And when I say that we have a miracle book that we keep since the day one of our journey, and I cannot tell you how many checks just came in the mail, spontaneously from past jobs from people who owed us money. Just all these things came about, and it was interesting how just God show up in so many ways that I can’t even express the gratitude that we have because then also were faithful full tithe payers , we tithe the 10% of our income that comes in and that really was a foundation of us having a momentum and keeping the right path to be consistent on this journey.
Dave: I talked about that a lot of times in my show. I talk about it when I’m coaching. People are talking to them, the importance of that giving and whether it’s 10% I’m a 10% giver as well. But it’s amazing how changes the mind. It really doesn’t become about money. It becomes about the reality that there’s more than enough. I could give some away, and I can still have all the things that I need and I can really move forward. It’s just amazing how it really changes people’s mindset. agree, agree. So you guys do a lot of coaching. You do a lot of presentations together. My assumption is, is that you’re running into couples all the time, just like you. There’s a spender and there’s a saver. Melissa, Would you agree with that?
Melissa and Murphy: Yeah, for sure. No. We’ve been actually hosting a marriage class financial class that our church recently, we’ve had a couple couples you know, reach out to us and share their situation. But yeah, it’s usually one is a spender. One is the saver. It’s kind of rare that it’s, you know, savor, savor but I think that this journey has Kind of taught me to, like, be more of a saver. And now I’m like, I don’t actually like. We were at the store last night and I wanted something. And I’m like, what? This or do I need this? And it was more of a want. So I’m like, I have that question now. You know, before it was like, whatever. Like, I’ll just put it on my credit card and forget the whole thing. So, yeah, I mean, definitely there’s there’s a lot of couples out there, but, uh have very similarities. And you could be like, we’ve been there, you know, like there is hope
Dave: talk about this experience for you and teaching these classes. So it’s something you’re doing, You’re helping other people change their lives. What is the biggest thing you feel like You’re offering these people that you’re able to communicate with, and share your knowledge with?
Melissa and Murphy: Good question. So first of all it is very riveting for sure, and the humility that we actually get the insert and because our story is real and it is not something that we’re just talking because of knowledge that we’ve obtained. We actually lived this and for us to stand in front of people in a humble way, Not throwing things in people’s throats. Oh, yeah, using this and that. No how we’re sitting there standing out. It makes us more credible, and then it makes us more on people resonate with our stories. We’ve had many many people come up to say, Oh, my God, I remember this time you said something that touched me blah, blah blah. One of the things that makes us feel so grateful that we are able to sit or standard from these people and really, you know, talk about a situation that occurred in our journey that someone else would actually have hope that they can come out of it, too. So that’s why I felt individually, just just it’s almost like that I’m a service a ministry, were doing that allows us to really help people dig out of the hole that I made got themselves into because we actually lived it.
Melissa and Murphy: Yeah, and also just to add to that I think that in these classes we’ve kind of designed our curriculum to, like bring, give them the tools, right, So give them the resources give them the tools that they can go home and they can actually plug in the numbers and do the steps and and, you know, ultimately, like, just have that financial freedom for their household. You know, that’s the most exciting part about it is like, you know, this is great, like we did this, you know, you can do it. But to see them put that in action and, like change their family tree I mean, that is like, I just feel so grateful for that, you know? So it’s just it’s been really, really cool. So
Dave: One of the other words you both mentioned was the word hope. You find out a lot of people by the time they come to your class that they lost hope financially,
Melissa and Murphy: We can see it on some of their faces and their not going to like, you know, say that out loud because we have those facial expressions We had those, you know, this just different kind of vernacular that people use when they are speaking, asking questions that we know they’re experiencing that hopelessness. But yes, so it just it’s it’s, um it’s just just imagine you being in a room, seeing people live something your whole list, and they say some of that touches you, and all of a sudden that desire is now induced inside of you that makes you feel I Wow, I can do this. That’s a part that is epitome, just greatness. So, yeah,
Dave: it’s amazing how quickly, once someone gets hope, they can start making progress. I feel like there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. I can do this. I could before it, and it’s absolutely super what you guys were doing. And your ability to not only changed the current lifestyle that you mentioned, unless you’re changing generations, it’s really creating a legacy for these people. So let’s talk a little bit about more about the marriage situation. So you got couples that are working together and maybe you can talk about it in your own life. How do you open the communication to where you can start making change? Obviously, you were different people, and at some point you had to start communicating. What did that look like for you guys?
Melissa and Murphy: I think it was kind of like going back to what Murph said earlier about figuring out your why do you want why Do you want to be debt free? Why do you want to retire earlier? Why do you want to build wealth or live Like no one else, you know, So it’s that kind of like is probably a good starting point. But also, you know, for us we would do like weekly budget meetings. And so that was kind of like prior to those budget meetings, like, I would write out a list of, like stuff that I wanted or needed, And I would bring that list to the meeting and show murph and be like, Okay, this is what I want. This is more of needs. And so we were kind of sort through that. And I think in the beginnings of that, we would have some arguments and abouts over, you know, our budget. But once we started continuing to do it, you know, after the 1st 6 months, it was getting easier and easier. And then I started to see OK, this plan is actually working. you know, in a few years, like we can do all these things that I want to do. And this isn’t necessarily a lot more.
Dave: to me it seems like, really what you’re doing was creating time for it. Murph, is that right? That you are setting aside time so you could deal with it?
Melissa and Murphy: Yeah. Yes, for sure. agreeing on the time to actually sit down. And I was gonna and what you’re saying, what she said earlier to give each other a voice because we both had authority. We come in and sit down. don’t think that you know what person is going to demand. So we’re doing this and that and not have other person have a voice because that’s how I work. Policy that almost never works. For sure. You have to have a mutual agreement and mutual foundation allow each other openness and transparency on what can we do? What is our Why? How can we, you know, connect those two in order for us to move forward and build momentum. So yeah,
Dave: I think you’re exactly right. If you really look at the situation being open with one another, being of the share and realizing it’s not a one size fits all that there’s gotta be some give and take some negotiation. I guess what I loved about what I see with you guys is that Obviously there was a lot of respect during that process of the other person. You could have never gotten here. If you want to come in and just said it’s my way or the highway Sorry, this is the way it’s gonna be. My assumption is I would be talking to one of you right now and not both of you
Melissa and Murphy: or neither of us
Dave: absolutely. And I think it’s just cool how you guys made the time in the effort to respect each other. One of the other things that I think we do need talk about, especially in a marriage relationship, is fighting over money is one of the biggest issues that happens out there. It’s one of the biggest causes for divorce, any thoughts that either of you could share to help couples that are in this situation to stop fighting so much about what’s going on.
Dave: I would say, Don’t let your past supersede your feature, because I think a lot of people we’ve got a lot of baggage from our past financially spurs mostly and be. What helped us was that we let that stop there and actually start developing a new future and we constructed a new potential of a future. And that’s absolutely being giving building walls, having our Children when we have them not be exposed to what we were exposed earlier. So really accepting each other’s flaws, but don’t let your past supersede where you wanna go in the future. So that’s when I thought I should I should say
Melissa and Murphy: I would say, You know, what kind of like helped our money fights kind of calmed down was like having a plan. You know, just having a plan for money and like a gold that we’re going after is like we’re talking about earlier. The common goal, you know, we can more focus on, like less fighting about it and Laura and like, let’s work together towards this common goal. You know, even if it’s like, let’s pay off this credit card and then let’s go celebrate or something like that, you know, so that mutual agreement toward that common goal, I think, really can help with with money fight
Dave: and I’m sure there were times that one of you disappointed the other one, that there were times that things didn’t work out the way they should. I know it’s happened in my life and not so much with money. With my wife. I one day set a goal that we were gonna get healthier so we could go on a cruise together like that’s what My wife did an amazing job and I completely blew it. And I think to this day she still will. Frustrated. We got on multiple other cruises. They think she’s still frustrated that I felt her and I’m frustrated. I should have been better in that. I should’ve stick stuck to the goals and the commitments we have. And I think that’s one of things, too, is that we’ve got realized if there are gonna be failures. But it’s okay we can pick up from those. We can move forward and still get towards our goals. I mean, you guys are such a prime example. Yeah, it’s five or six years, but when you consider it in a 70 or 80 year lifetime, it’s really not that much
Melissa and Murphy: It really is. And I want to add on something you just brought up. I have to say now, because, as you know, I was when I brought the plan to get out of debt that you know, to the plate. But one thing that I’ve noticed is that you know how we have budget meetings. It was commitment, but I still broke those commitments. And I say break. I still spent money that you know, that she didn’t know it. I’ll do little basket of runs here and there. I’ll get treats. And that was distrusting because we agreed on a certain amount that we were allocated for. But I still had times that I broke and I failed. And but she also was very forgiving. But yes, you’re right. There is going to be times you want to fail. But just make sure you pick us up, up. You two care about it and then move forward. So, yes, I agree.
Dave: Thank you for bringing that up. Thats a topic I want to talk about too, is that they’re sneaking the hiding. That’s obviously happens out there in relationships, not only with money, but many other things. Unfortunately, Murph whats the best way and or Melissa I’ll let either of you answer this to make sure that’s coming to light. Maybe I did it and I shouldn’t have. But how do like then make it come to light so we can have a discussion?
Melissa and Murphy: I mean, it’s pretty much just like keeping that ongoing dialogue open. You know, whether it’s the text messages or conversations about our finances, like Murph and I share the every dollar out. So we’re constantly logging her transactions into that thing that we both can see it. But also, we’re you know, we spend something from another category that we weren’t planning. We will shoot each other like a text message or get Christmas. There was something that I thought, you know, out of the ordinary for myself from Murphy’s Christmas funds. I, like, own up to that. You know, we worked out like he wasn’t upset or anything, but it’s just, you know, like it’s not perfect, but it’s still not perfect and never will be perfect. But it’s long as you can just kind of own your mistakes and, like, accept each other for where you’re at. Yeah move, forward. You know and most of all be honest with yourself because you have to be honest to yourself. It’s almost saying okay, but I love myself. how am I going to love someone else. You have to be honest with yourself to be trustworthy to a plan or something or agreement that allows you to grow when you’re whatever terms possible. But yeah, for me, I had to be honest with myself. So why did I just do that become Come to grasp on why Was a go forward I Mentioned early We see a counselor on a monthly, or sometimes by monthly basis in allows us to grow. And that’s one aspect that helped us kind of become who we are today.
Dave: I believe a lot of it’s got to deal with the response to as a father of six kids. Obviously, I’ve heard everything. In fact, I talked about it many times. I hear so many problems that seemed to go on in their life, and I get somewhat frustrated at times because I think I never had those problems. Well, I really did. But my generation we never talked about it, and my kids feel very comfortable and sharing their story because we are generally pretty levelheaded about it. They think that’s critical and a relationship to that. It’s like, yeah, or maybe you screwed up, but that’s okay, thanks for coming and telling me Let’s work through this such before now, said, It’s a safe environment that it happens again, or if there’s problems or to prevent it from happening. We can have an open dialogue and truly work together. Yeah, you guys have brought up a couple of times here. The fact that you’re using counseling in your own marriage and in your own life talk a little bit about how that’s helped your relationship. Melissa?
Melissa and Murphy: Yeah, tremendously. Kind of like to think of it as like when a car needs a tune up or maintenance. You know, it’s just it’s nothing to be ashamed of that, you know, there’s always issues that come up in our marriage and things that we need to work on individually and then together as a couple. So and, you know, as life goes on, there’s there’s always new things that come up. You know, if you get a bump in the road like we’ve been able to reach out and, like, seek professional help for that, you know, Christian counseling. And they’ve always kind of shed new light without any judgment, and, you know, just kind of helped us work through that and given us hope that you know, We’re not alone and, like other people, struggle with this, too, and like we can, we can work through it and and get past it. So I think it’s It’s definitely a great investment by far.Yeah, you said investment, You know, also, you know, investments generate dividends. And that’s something that really happens more you invest in something. Our marriage So many dividends will come out of it for sure. So,
Dave: Murph, talk a little bit about on your side. I go to counseling. I think it’s great. I enjoyed my opportunity of going there. My life and I have done it for the last two or three years pretty actively. But I also know that when I talk to other men, especially that they think for some reason we’re too good for that, that we don’t need counseling were too macho. Unfortunately, not all of them think that. But I’ve heard that many times. How have you felt in your own life? It’s helped you become a better person, a better husband to your wife.
Melissa and Murphy: Very, very good question is, it’s kind of funny because she was doing counsel. Before I was, I didn’t think I needed. As you just said right now is our right. I’m good. I’m good. But once the growth in person, the person with that she experience and I’ve seen it because I wouldn’t have sent the work together every day I saw the growth that she was actually, I’m having every day. I want that to. I don’t want to be left behind up this whole challenge. This manly comes out and then all of a sudden then put myself in a situation, allow myself to now sit in front of someone and be transparent, which was very hard for me, because I don’t have that many close guy friends that I can do that with. But, you know, sitting in front of someone had been really forcing my concerns or issues that I had. My goodness, it’s imperative now that I have to do that because now when I’m in there, I’m so open and willing to say whatever that has helped me, grow, to a man today. You know, I’m not perfect by any means, but I’m so way better. That was 5- 10 years ago, but I think for as a man Let’s stop being hardheaded and really let down our guard and that because if we do that, it’s gonna pay off so much not only to the people around them. But most of all, the most important people that we sit and see a reason they are Children are wives or vice versa. So it’s It’s done so many things that I can’t explain to you.
Dave: It’s such an amazing comment that’s that it’s an investment, and to me, it really is. I know I’ve seen in my life I’ve become a much better husband. I become a much better father. I know myself better. I think I’ve become a better boss. I’d be veteran relationships with other people. It’s amazing what it’s done to really help me, and you guys are such great testimonies of what it can do in a marriage is so cool for me to set and watch you to tow, watch some of your videos and things that you do together very exciting to see how one you really become in your marriage. So how do you keep that going? I mean, in the marriage, it’s very easy to have ups and downs and him bury Coulson, You pulled far away. What do you guys do in your own marriage that you feel really holds you together?
Melissa and Murphy: You know where we are interdependent for sure. When I say that we do personal girl things every day behind the scenes, you don’t really force that’s on out stories or any kind of social media. But we did devotions everyday. Individually, we read a lot. Listen upon, cancel on just the things that we are doing on the, you know, outside of social media, that we’re actually helping us. Then meet in the middle and we always have this constant goal to help develop powers to a god and group. But we’re constantly going up that that ladders that then well potential meet and definitely, you know, when that time comes, but we are working on each other.
Melissa and Murphy: try to do weekly date night doesn’t always happen, but date night, then, like we pray together a lot. So in the mornings, on the way to work, we’ll pray together or, you know, at night before we go to bed or just different times throughout the day. If something comes up, I think that that’s like they really help knowing that we’re on the same team, and we’re just we’re asking God for help. You know, that’s that’s what we need
Dave: to include him in the middle of it. It’s amazing how much better it can get. you put all three. So what’s the perfect date night for you, Melissa? You’re talking about going on weekly date. What’s a great date night for you and Murph to go do
Melissa and Murphy: Well, I like since our debt free journey, like I’m totally fine with just like cooking dinner at home and like watching a movie and, like, relaxing and or sometimes we like to go out to dinner and on a walk around and see the different shots so nothing too crazy your big butt just to kind of spend time with each other.
Dave: Murph, what about you? Go ahead.
Melissa and Murphy: Uh oh, man, I could say the same. It’s funny, cause we we live down the street from a really popular area and we go down and take walks. But honestly, sitting here cooking at home, I could say the same thing. I’m watching movie. It’s the funniest thing because we always said once for debt free will be doing this and that and that. But no, we feel content and happy at home cooking, watching something we’re just talking or what? Happiest. It’s so amusing how this life has changed us, our parent. I have shifted in an armaments way over pretty content, but we still want you know we’ll be Hawaii’s coming up we are going to splurge because we can. But But it was so easy, easy going, if you will. So
Dave: one of the things that I think you guys exemplify so well is that you can’t change and still be sincerely happy. But it’s not about stuff. It’s not about things not saying that for a period of time that doesn’t bring a lot of happiness. But we can truly change and reduce our budgets and still be truly happy and many times even happier because we don’t have that burden. There were caring with us under daily basis. So what’s next for you guys? Obviously you’re changing changer on life. You guys were out there trying to change the life of many other people. What does it look like five years from now for you guys?
Melissa and Murphy: We wanna be millionaires. In less than 10 years, that is the major will we have for sure be financially dependent because I mean, we have goes to do, wake up every morning and really do something we truly love to do, and that’s helping people and whatnot. But, you know, we have kids in the future, hopefully this year. So that’s something we have before, anything else you want to add? Yeah, just continued to build. Well, then just do what we love and help other people change their lives and travel. I think we’re getting a little bit of traveling in the first half of this year. A lot of traveling and then hopefully, you know, we’ll have a little baby baby on board soon, so we’ll see a lot of exciting things ahead. But
Dave: you guys have done a great job of creating balance. You’ve done a great job of getting your life’s organized. You’re such an inspiration not only to me but listeners to be able to see someone that’s come so far and relatively short period of time, and then to take those blessings and say, we’re gonna give them back and we’re going to help other people, and we’re gonna change other people’s lives for generations to come. So as we finish up here. I’m gonna give each of you a chance to just share one last thing. And I’ll start with you if you don’t mind. Melissa. One last thing to help those couples that are really struggling out there to make a determination to stick it out and start working on their finances.
Melissa and Murphy: Yeah, I would just say that we are meant to live free. So, like however, that looks to you, you were meant to be free, you know, free of bondage, free of financially burden that free of, you know, anxiety or whatever you struggle with. So I just want to say that there is hope to be able to stop freedom and especially, you know, experiencing the financial freedom and, like, there is hope to turn things around like you will have to work and you will have to put in some effort. But if you’re willing to do that, it’s so worth it. It’s so entirely worth it. You can have that life that you are. You’ll always have problems, and there will always be issues. But you can have the freedom or the life that you’ve always dreamed of. it’s kind of hard to follow, but I’ll definitely doing best. But I would say that it doesn’t end here. It only starts here. Won’t you change your paradigm? My goodness, the world is completely open to you. Is limitless for sure. We have to change in my set and make a choice to believe something different. Challenging belief, system choose and you choose. Something allows you to now get to a point of progressive towards your ultimate goal and whatever that is under freedom, weight loss, happy marriage, whatever it is, make sure you have a change in your belief system, in order to make now choose to do something different. So
Dave: such great advice. Thank you so much. Both of you for sharing for those that want to get in contact with you wanna follow? I know you’ve got tons of YouTube videos out there. You’ve gotta blog all kinds of good information. What’s the best way for them to connect with you guys?
Melissa and Murphy: Yes, along w w dot fitnfunds.com That’s our website that we have all social media platform Twitter, Facebook, instagram YouTube is all @ fitnfunds.
Dave: Thank you so much for being on the show today.
Melissa and Murphy: Thank you for having us
Dave: Todays show has been brought to you by Prosperity Academy. Plus, please take the opportunity to go their website Prosperity Academy plus dot com and sign up for your membership so that you can get all the tools you need to achieve financial success.
Dave: You have been listening to the ProsperityGap. This is the show where we help you bridge that gap between the life you’re currently living on, the one you should be.
About Melissa and Murphy
Welcome! We are Melissa and Murphy (M&M). We’ve been married for nine years. No, we don’t have kids yet ! We are an interracial couple who celebrates diversity. We are not perfect and try to keep God first in every area of our lives.
As far as the fitness/nutrition aspect of our lives over the last 10-15 years we’ve learned to enjoy the benefits of exercise, eating healthy, and lifting weights. Murph played basketball all through high school and college. Mel played basketball/volleyball in her early high school years and in her college days started working out on a weekly basis.
A little over five years ago Murph began listening to the Dave Ramsey’s podcast. At that point in our lives we were taking lavish trips with money we did not have which was supported by our line of credit, using our car payment to go on a vacation, and buying groceries on a credit card. Unbeknownst to us we were drowning in debt and came to our rock bottom moment that enough was ENOUGH! The bleeding had to STOP. In January 2014 we began Dave Ramsey’s baby’s steps with a total of $229,000.00 in debt. Ok this is where you go they had how much???? Yeah you read it right, this daunting amount consisted of you name it student loans, lines of credit, credit cards, medical bills, IRS bills, cars, you name it we had it. It took Mel the first year to get on board, but once we started to gain momentum in our debt snowball we saw a huge shift in not only our finances, but many other areas of our lives! One thing that we can express to you is that this journey will transform you in more ways than one!
The process has not been easy, lonely at times, exhausting, and an incredible amount of hard-work/sacrifice took place, but beyond worth it! “There’s NO substitute for the process” – John Gray
TODAY, WE’RE DEBT FREE and we believe that through what we’ve learned we can encourage others to get their fitness/finances in order.
Connect with Fit n Funds